Flowers or Fucking?!

What is your idea of romance?

Flowers:  Girls love getting flowers.  The bigger they are, the more of a production they make, which essentially means the more they are loved.  Especially, when you get more than one bouquet on the same day, the better of a catch you must be.  Women like to flaunt their bouquets like they are comparing their man’s bank account.  Heaven forbid your vase has a carnation in it or arrives in a box because then you’re screwed!

I, personally, love ALL flowers because they are beautiful and always smell nice!  I always enjoy receiving flowers and the days I appreciate them most are the days that they are for no reason other than the simple joy in giving them.


Chocolates:  I know that all women love chocolate.  They have joke after joke about chocolate and women being in sinful bliss when the two are together.  Like “Coffee, Chocolate and Men.  Some things are just better rich,” or “Back away from the chocolate and no one gets hurt,” or the famous “Chocolate: It’s like sex but you don’t have to shave your legs.”  

I, personally, can’t really say anything about this because I have never liked chocolate.  Receiving chocolate from someone is like them saying they don’t know me at all, not that I wouldn’t appreciate the gift.  I just don’t ever need it or crave it.  Also, I wouldn’t ever in a million years compare it to sex.  I haven’t ever had a piece of chocolate or anything sweet that was ever even close to the ecstasy of an orgasm! Ever!  Plus, even when I’m not having sex, I love the feeling of being completely shaved everywhere, so I really just don’t get it.

Dinner Date:  Some women like to be taken out to be wined and dined.  The fancier the restaurant the more romantic if becomes, the higher the hotel it sits on, the better the view and THEN you really must be in love.  I would assume most men would like this one because they get fed and the girl gets drunk.  Then they can both fall in love for the night.

I, personally, love the dinner date and night on the town.  I love dressing up and getting gorgeous for my date.  I want to show him a preview of what’s to come, it always gets better under it all, no matter how little there is to begin with.  But, I gotta say, it doesn’t have to be a fancy place, though I do enjoy GREAT food from only the best places.  Yet, take me out for great pizza or a mouthwatering burger, hand me a beer and I’ll be just as happy.  It should never be about the place but the company.

Jewelry:  I don’t really even want to go here.  I’ve had friends show off their biggest brightest pieces of jewelry and end up in the worst marriages, ever.  This can be worse than the flower production!  Especially during holidays like Valentine’s Day, the next day is the day to gather around and show off their great gifts and feel sorry for the one’s that got the smaller pieces, if any at all.  You get a shoulder pat and maybe next year?  This doesn’t apply to everyone, just the ones that feel the need to show off.

I, personally, don’t wear a lot of jewelry.  I do smile at diamonds when I see them but I do that at anything sparkly so I don’t know how much that really applies to jewelry.  I love anything sparkling and I like getting accessories that shine.  I do have quite a lot that I have received as gifts and love all that I have been given.  I just don’t have a need to show off things when I do, so most of the time people have no idea what I have because I just don’t do that.  It usually will be months later when someone notices something I’m wearing and ask when I got it because they always ask!

If you ask me, which you didn’t but if you are still reading then you must want to know, the whole romance thing is overrated in the Hallmark world we live in.   I started this post with the intention of sharing a funny story and now here I am giving opinions and more than you bargained for.

Here is my idea of romance and this crazy, now funny story I have to share:

I have the girls at overnight sleepovers so that means I can go out and party and enjoy a night on the town.  Then I realized that when I don’t have my girls I always go out.  It’s just a given.  So, I decided that I needed a LONG night in and I know you know what I mean.

I spend the day making marinade for my thick cuts of juicy mouthwatering rib-eyes, I hand scallop potatoes to make Au Gratin and then I gather everything else I need to make a four course meal from my kitchen.  Desert is even setting in the fridge, homemade cheesecake is perfect!  The food already smells great and I have yet to cook the steaks.  I open some wine to let it breathe and so I can take a sip or two or three… I lost count.

Everything is running on time and I have a few minutes so I decide to get beautiful.  I run upstairs and change into a little less and the most appropriate outfit I can find that I think goes with this wonderful dinner I’ve been slaving away at.  I have attached a pic of said outfit, which is a first for me but I would like to set the mood a little better.

Now that you get the picture, you can see the mood I am in and setting up.  I even did the whole sexy hair thing, which you cannot see since that would involve my face and I would still like to stay anonymous!

Anyhow, I feel great about my outfit and my dinner.  I decided a little more romance couldn’t hurt so I lit candles throughout my entire hallway from my front door into my dining room then of course all over my table, I’m guessing at about 30 or so.  I feel like the mood is appropriately set!

Time to start up the steaks, I go outside and fire up my gas grill.  I love my grill.  It’s a huge stainless steel grill with ceramic plates so there is never direct fire on your food but still has that great grill taste.  I use it weekly and it’s one of my favorite ways to cook.  Well, when it ignites the whole massive grill lifts off the ground when it explodes a fireball out of it, at me.  I back away quickly, freaked that I just saw a fire ball  and looking around thinking a neighbor is going to come running, it was the loudest boom ever!  Since I was now in my lingerie the last thing I wanted was unexpected visitors.

Then I realize that my hair is on fire.  So, now I am in my backyard in broad daylight hitting at myself because I can see my hair burning.  I run inside and into my bathroom and start patting away at my hair because it looks like I have ash all over me and that’s when I realize that my hair is now falling out into chunks into the sink.

By the next day my hair was to my shoulders!
Of course, that would be when the doorbell rings!

I grab the glass of wine sitting on the table and brought it to the door, opened it as I was and said “I poured this glass for you but now I’m going to need the whole fucking bottle!”

My first reaction, if I were him, would have been to start laughing at the craziness that just answered the door but his concerned for my well-being came first and asked if I needed a doctor.  Which should have clued me into how I must have looked!

After I cleaned myself off and put myself back together, I finished cooking dinner.  I guess there was a leak in the gas line.   The next day as I complained about my misfortune to my sister, she asked the obvious question, “Did you still have sex?”  My answer, hell yes, burnt hair and all!

4 comments:

  1. Wow great story, and you looked great! Sounds like you cooked a great meal too.

    Glad to hear the fire wasn't too bad, sounds like it could have been a lot worse. Now you have an excuse to go get your hair done, chicks like that stuff don't they?

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Ponyboy!! :) I was really good, even if I had a little bit of a twitch every time I went near the grill!

      It wasn't bad, thankfully, I realized soon after that it could have been much worse, so losing hair was better than the alternative! I did get my hair done, immediately after! Thankfully my hair grows pretty fast and it looks just like that picture, again!

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    2. Quite the "explosive" event it seems you had, it appears from your pictures you have fully recovered? Amazing picture BTW, your men must just drool each time they see you.

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    3. Yes, it was quite explosive. Thanks, those pictures were from before the explosion and besides the minor twitch I have when I use my grill, I have recovered just fine, thanks!

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