I feel like my “On” button is permanently switched up!
I am one of those people that are always on the go, in constant motion. Often called a social butterfly, fluttering about, talking and catching up with everyone and anyone that I run into wherever I am. I love to know how people are doing, I love being a part of my friends lives, seeing family at every chance I get. I revel in a night out on the town, dining, drinking and dancing! I love going to new places and seeing new things. I relish being outside at the beach and in the ocean, sand between my toes with an umbrella drink in my hand. I appreciate travel and all the wonders of the world, new and old. I adore my experiences and am always planning to make more, see more and DO MORE.
This constant motion I find myself in is exhausting!!
Though I know that I do it to myself, there are something’s that I don’t plan that come up. Entertaining people for instance, I don’t always plan to do that but at the drop of a hat there can be people at my house and I am suddenly entertaining when I was really looking forward to a night with a glass of wine and a good book. I find myself less and less available, less and less able to entertain. I want to just shut myself off and not be Ms. B! Just chill and relax! Maybe even enjoy one of the many, many movies I own with some popcorn, anything to unwind and not think!
Is that even possible for a female?
I don’t mind being the bell of the ball, when I have the energy, but that seems to happen less frequently. How do I get more, so that I can keep up with me? I know that I want for things like nights out, trying new things and traveling. Yet, sometimes, I just want to show up and chill. Not be the person everyone expects more from, not have to live up to myself. How nice would that be?!
Turning me off would actually do the very opposite of what I’m asking! Turning me off would completely turn me on! I have so much going on all the time, so much though always running ramped through my mind, that if I had a second to just unwind, I would probably be in a state of bliss!!
I am always dreaming of Tahiti, wishing myself on a hut in the water with my umbrella drink and family. While enjoying thoughtless days and beautiful warm water with nothing but endless ocean and sand. I soooo need time to just let everything go and be able to just chill without the constant of those around me, without cell phones and email, without people calling and wanting, just for a while. So that when I am there, I can be completely me, that person you know and love, without feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I need that, so please if you know where my switch is, please turn me off!
I really need a break!