Snowflakes on my windshield

Short… and to the point!

It’s almost that time where we need to have everything ready and done for the holidays! So, here I sit in my dining room that is always used to hold my many projects. I spread out along the table everything I need to do whatever it is I am doing. I stare at the mess I’ve made and then I get started.

Today I decided out of now where that I wanted to string silver beads, to silver snowflakes, to hang. With my to-do list a mile long, I decide that the snowflakes are important and I must do it now. Forget the laundry I already have running and the floors the need to be mopped. Priority number one is these snowflakes. How they moved to the top of my list when yesterday they weren’t even on it at all; I will never know!

I think about how crafty I can be and what I pain in the butt perfectionist I am. When I am doing anything; I do it exactly how I want it and take nothing less than the perfection I want in every project. It is so tiring and I don’t know what I would do with all that time I would have if I didn’t obsess over things the average person doesn’t notice. I like being a perfectionist and I take pride in everything I do, even if it doesn’t always come together as I envision. I still am happy with what I have worked on and that I gave it my all. I don’t like to do anything half-assed!

While stringing up each of the hundreds of beads that took countless hours, I obsessed. Not about the crafts, the holidays or my travel plans I am not ready for. Instead I obsess about my lost friend. My friend that gave me all these silver beads, which go perfectly with the snowflakes I bought without an idea of what I planned for them. I could not stop thinking about my friend that is no longer here. Every single time I threaded a bead I thought about him and it made me terribly sad. I thought about abandoning the project but it made me feel like I would be abandoning him. As if stringing the beads he gave me was going to really make any difference that he isn’t here. Crafting usually always sends my brain into another dimension that I forget all my worries. It’s usually what I can escape to without worry. Today, I wasn’t so fortunate.

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