My directions are upside down!

There's this idea in our heads that things could be different, easier and happier. The grass is always greener on the other side, right?! So, when we are unhappy we take those roads to the happier places. Places where resentment and hurt can take a hitch. So we can wander freely through our garden, blissfully unaware of anything but our own stories.

We want to believe that if he loved me, then he wouldn't do things to hurt me, if he loved me he would make me happy, if he loved me we would be floating on a cloud high above the evil below. Is it true or just some distorted fantasy we all play in our heads? Wishing and wanting things to be the way that we dream them up or watch bits and pieces of our happier friends and family. We don't see their whole world but we sure like to take the best parts and wonder why we aren't that happy? Maybe they are just happier people. Maybe they don't ask for anything more that they get. Maybe they are simple with little to no maintenance.


I have wished many times through my life that I was a simple person, with simple wants and desires. I am just not built that way. But, guess what, I don't want to be. I want to be me for all the wonderful things I know I am and all the things I wish to improve. I want to be loved for every part of me without judgment or ridicule. Whether or not people say they judge, everyone does. They judge by their own standards and look down at those who aren't up to par, because of course that makes us feel more worthy in our damaged state. We all come with a little damage don't we. Some people have bigger dents on their luggage but we all travel with baggage that we would love to lose!

I think it's time to toss the directions and just follow the heart.

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