Lost in the Fog


We all do it. We all give up a little something for a little something else. How far do you take your sacrifices before you end up giving up all of yourself? We all give a little but how much becomes too much?

I sacrificed my independence when I got married.
I sacrificed my bank account when I made it joint.
I sacrificed my body to have kids.
I sacrificed my career to stay home with my kids.
I sacrificed my beautiful wardrobe for theirs.
I sacrificed my time with my kids for work.
I sacrificed my perfect floors for animals.
I sacrificed my gym membership for better health… go figure on this one!

I sacrificed this that and the other thing for other things I wanted more. I want the things more than the things I sacrifice for so all in all it shouldn't feel like a sacrifice, although I often wish why can’t I be fortunate enough to be able to have the best of both worlds? Why can’t I enjoy the happiness and time with my children as much as I enjoy the money that comes in from my paycheck? How nice would that be? What I dream I would be living in if I were that lucky!

A friend of mine is so hurt and distraught right now, it is breaking my heart into pieces. All the pieces are turning into tears for her. All our tears become hurt. That hurt cannot be repaired. Some things cannot be repaired. Maybe it’s easy to say that now in the middle of hurt. Maybe looking back you will think, I should have known it would all work out. But, in the middle of it all, it’s hard to see the bright white light with all the clouds gloomy and gray surrounding you.

How does it all work out? How is it even possible? When you can’t see the shiny light, it’s easy to figure that it won’t work out and it’s very easy to get lost...

Her tears have become my tears. Her heart breaking became my heart breaking. Her pain has become my pain and that pain hurts so deeply you would think it is all my pain. What can I do to help her, to heal her, to make her better? I have been there for her many times through her life just as she has been there for me. I need to be there for her just as I have but it will take something from me.

But, I will sacrifice for her.
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