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They say “Money is the root of all evil!”

We all want it and the more we get the more we want. So, does that mean are we all evil? I suppose so. I guess we should just deal with the fact that we are all evil. Once we come to terms with this fact the easier life will be. Right?!

They also say “Money is the number one cause of divorce!”

That fact is completely sad to me, yet I understand it completely. Fortunately or unfortunately, I have been on both sides of the fence. I’ve been broke with nothing to live on and I have had the pleasure of a good night sleep knowing I am ok and will be ok for a long time. That security can really make a person’s sleep all the better.

Although, being on both sides you would think that being on the better side would make things easier for a couple. Guess what, it doesn’t. There are always issues and no matter how little you have or how much you have. Seeing things eye to eye on money is a very hard thing to do. Very rarely can you always agree on everything. So, it’s no surprise that if you cannot agree on what to have for dinner most nights, the likeliness of being able to agree on finances can be that much harder.


Take my ex… hmm what should I call him? Let’s call him Mr. FX.

He was always spending money when he shouldn’t on things he shouldn’t. He was always making things harder than they should be. Mr. Fx was always wasteful and negligent with “our” money. The worse for me was knowing that he was at home being an “artist” living his dream while I was out working two jobs to support us. I always had the idea in my head that when you are with someone, you are supportive and you do whatever it is that you have to, to make each other’s dreams come true. What I didn’t realize at the time was that we were always in pursuit of his dream and mine was always at the bottom of the list.

There were so many nights where I would wonder how I was going to get food the next day, praying constantly for some miracle. At the time I think I was praying for a miracle for him. I realize now that I probably was praying for a miracle for me. I used to think if I just made a little more I could support us so that he could do whatever he wanted all day and I wouldn’t have to worry. WOW!! Was I young and dumb!?

Dumb in the sense that I was working nonstop while I came home to a dirty house and the comments of how life was unfair to Mr. FX. Never could catch a break! Boo Hoo I used to think when I would finally settle down after going to school, going to work, then after work going to my second job. All to support a guy that did nothing for himself. He had no motivation, no drive and no consideration for the woman taking care of him. Scratch woman and replace with dumb girl.

So, let’s fast forward to the present. Obviously dumb girl turned into smart girl and ditched Mr. FX. I started living with the concept that I will not ever take care of another man again. I was independent and on my own. I was going to take care of me and my responsibilities every way I could. Things would get better and they did, because I made them happen with hard work. I didn’t just sit around waiting for someone to hand me something, because as most people seem to think, they are entitled to it. “Where’s my hand out” is something I often see when people think things should just fall in their laps.

So, here I am Ms. Independent proving that I am smart enough and strong enough to conquer it all. Without a man and without help. But, I suppose I knew that all along, I did have dead weight attached to me for a long time.

Now, I am in another relationship. This one polar is opposite of Mr. FX. He works hard and most people that know him considers him Mr. Workaholic. Which you’d think having money beats being broke, right? Well, ok I have to agree with that. Been there done both.

My problem isn’t hard work and rarely seeing the guy. It’s the fact that our accounts are on lock down. Going from completely independent, relying on no one to relinquishing all control of my finances is a hard thing to swallow. You ask, how does a person go from one to the other? Well, again in my warped thoughts I figured, my issues of what I had been through shouldn’t follow me to my new relationship. So, when we decided to make our two become one. I agreed with all my heart and none of my brain.

So, here I am scared to use the ATM because I might get the third degree at home about what I could possibly need at Target. When I have to explain for the 120th month in a row that I am female and whenever I go to Target and spend 40 bucks, that I am probably buying tampons again. But, hey thanks for making me list my purchases for you. I feel so much better knowing that you know that it’s that time of the month and maybe you should think twice about fucking with me in the next week or so.

How I went from one extreme to the other is beyond me. Where my head was when I made my decisions is clear. My heart wants me to do one thing when I should be doing what my brain says. The good side of this is the fact that I didn’t keep doing that with Mr. Fx. so you can count on the fact that Mr. Workaholic should expect a change in banks very soon.
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