License to Drive

Our lives start with many firsts and are celebrated every day thereafter.

From the first day we are born to our first tooth, first haircut, first word, first steps and our first birthday to the first day of school. We celebrate each milestone with enthusiasm and usually with many hundreds of pictures to document the fantastic firsts of childhood.

Then adolescences hits and a whole new chapter of firsts will begin. First comes your first dance, first best friend, first time behind a wheel, first drink, first date, first kiss, first love by infatuation and first heartbreak. We splatter more pictures of every first we can capture. Wanting to hang on to every moment we can, because after all you can only have a first once.

We move into adulthood and the firsts continue. First job, first apartment, first car, first love, first marriage, first home and then comes the first baby. Each thing more important as the firsts continues.

Our lives are celebrated with many milestones and many, many firsts. We love to cheer people on as they hit each first. I, myself, love to celebrate with as much happiness with people, as they hit their firsts, as if it were my first all over again. I really love to see people in awe as they hit a first for the first time. I love seeing their eyes glow while they move through their life filling it with firsts over and over again. It is always amazing and I love it!

Set me apart from the rest…

I love celebrating these moments of our lives. I am the first to cheer you on and bring balloons and throw flowers when necessary. I will be at every event I can with my camera and plenty of memory to fill.

I remember many of my own firsts. I remember my first day of school and playing in the toy kitchen and painting. I remember my first time walking home from school and getting lost only a block away and how scared I was. I remember my first sleep over and how free I felt because I was on my own, so I thought. I remember my first kiss and the way it felt when his lips touched mine and how his hands moved around my body in a nervous mess.

I think back to my firsts and no matter how it ended or continued I always smile at the amazing first it brought to me. I love each first as it was and I am thankful for where it got me today even if it ended with heartbreak and tears.

What sets me apart? Sounds normal, just as though you were reading the words and thinking you wrote them yourself, right!?

I have enjoyed many firsts but I have been searching my whole life for my last! I enjoy the firsts as they come. I take it in and know that it will be the only time that first moment will ever happen again. Yet, my desire isn’t to have another first it’s to know when I have had my last first. Usually I have always known when it’s not “my last first kiss” with someone. I knew I would move on almost as soon as things started things. Why continue and move forward? In hopes that maybe I am wrong about wanting a fairy tale and that desire and love that makes your heart pound every moment. In hopes that things will turn out exactly the way you want them to in all our fantasies. Yet, most of the time you are trying for something that isn’t there no matter how much you wanted it to be.

My search for my last may be done or may continue in the future. As they say the future is unknown and you can never predict a thing. So, I keep the desire of finding and knowing the first and last time in my heart.

I will always enjoy the ride and smile at every first. I will always have in my mind that every first doesn’t always mean it’s the last and will always have my last in my heart.

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