Can we be friends?

When you ask a man if men and women can be friends, they always seem to answer yes. If you ask a woman the same question, they always seem to answer with a louder than needed NO!

If you knew me you’d probably assume to know the answer to that question. Yet, then again maybe not?! I would have to side with the majority of women on this one. I don’t really think that men and women can be only friends. It’s only an opinion based from my past experiences.

I can count on many hands, all the men I am friends with. But, are they good friends? Probably not. If I think they are, are they really?! Is friendship genuinely all they want from me? Or do they want much more than the friendship I have to offer?

I’d say 9 times outta 10…

Then there’s the perception of others and what they assume. I had a good friend of many years until he passed. Then out of nowhere I’m recently asked if we were ever more than friends, if there was ever a time that we had more than friendship. I laughed out loud at the thought and wished I could pick up the phone and tell him yet another story of someone thinking there was more to our friendship than there actually was. I have been asked that several times on many different occasions and mostly by men, I find that funny since they are usually the one’s telling me that men and women can be friends. Women, they won’t ask or say anything to me, they are usually much more catty about it and just talk amongst themselves and assume things… I believe it is called RUMORS!

Even last week, I sat with a “friend” of mine at the park as our girls ran wild. We chatted away while keeping a close eye on our little ones. As I listened to him talk, I scanned the park back and forth, that’s when I noticed two other moms staring back at me from the other end of the park. I know them from the school and I want to pull my hand up in a wave but behind my own dark shades I can see they are just staring at me. I sit back look at the man that is sitting next to me that isn’t mine and I wonder is that why they are staring? What assumptions are they making, are we being catty all over again… or is it my own assumption?

Why do people assume that when a man and a woman are friends, they aren’t just friends? I can easily assume it’s because more often than not, one of the two wants more than a friendship with the other person. I can easily be friends with just about anyone but I often wonder can they be friends with me? Many of my girlfriends rarely have male friends, and visa versa. I still have yet to find a couple that is genuinely just friends with one another without the desire of more. Even if they wouldn’t ever act on it… nevertheless it’s still there.

Do I really care what people assume about me, especially when I know it’s not true. Not always, but sometimes it does get to me that people like to make assumptions about me when they have no real reason to do so. At the end of the day I know me and that should be all that matters. Yet, I still hear the ringing in my ears when I think people are talking about me when they shouldn’t.

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